Happy Gas Rocks!

Yesterday I made a little trip to the dentist. There I was sitting in that chair puffing on my happy gas and BAM! Here comes the lessons…Why is it that I have to get lessons in the one moment I get to check OUT of reality?? “This isn’t fair”, I was thinking. And I begrudgingly asked the hygienist for a note pad and a pen. Here is what I learned:

First of all, let me just say it is a miracle that I can read the scribbling that I wrote down because my body was definitely not functioning well. My physical body was temporarily suspended but all the Universal laws finally made sense. As I “checked out” I could see myself in 3D. The first dimension was what I heard. The second dimension is what I saw. The third dimension was what I felt. I always saw and heard everything before I felt it. The feelings always happened last and then they wouldn’t go away. Even though I was seeing and hearing new things, the feelings remained. And here’s the kicker…my brain wouldn’t turn off. It would continue to play the same part of the music on the radio I was hearing or the same thing the dentist had just said over and over and over. It was like it was a machine that was programmed to just stay on repeat.

I was thinking to myself. “No wonder it is so hard to let go of old thought patterns and emotions!” This brain is just a machine. It is just set to play certain things over and over and then I continue to feel them even though I am fully aware that the event that caused the thought and the feeling is no longer happening.” It was so crazy because I was seeing and hearing and feeling things that weren’t even real. It may have been real a few seconds before, but it was no longer a fact. The only thing real was what was happening in the present moment but my brain and my feelings were stuck in the past….on repeat.

So here is my “aha” moment. Thoughts don’t feel and feelings don’t think. The brain does whatever you tell it to do and then is keeps doing it until you intentionally reprogram it to do something different. And it doesn’t happen instantly. It’s a creature of habit. And it doesn’t really care how you are feeling. It doesn’t care that the thoughts you are thinking are causing you pain or joy. I just does what it is programmed to do. And your feelings don’t think. There is no logic. They just hold on to and EXAGGERATE everything that was once your reality, even if it is no longer happening. And then the feelings get together with the thoughts and try to convince you that what you are thinking and feeling is true, when in fact, it is not. They are not trying to do this to make you crazy–they don’t have the ability to care about you! They are just doing their job. It is not personal. And they will do whatever you tell them to. I remember lying in that dentist chair feeling like I was going to go nuts! But then I said, “Look you two, I’m in charge here. Even though it hurt five seconds ago, it doesn’t hurt now so stop dwelling on the pain and think about the present.” I know I must have looked like I REALLY WAS crazy with my little pad and paper having a 3D conversation with myself. Speaking of crazy…as a side bonus, I began to see that creative (aka crazy) people are just exaggerated. In other words, their feelings and their thoughts are biggger and louder than the rest of us. That is why if left unattended, they will cause someone to jump off a bridge. So anyway, that’s that. It really is all I need to know in life. Thank you happy gas.

Love your life!
Christy

Imagine you are in a race.  You have done all the preparation one could possibly do.  You are in top physical and mental condition.  You have worked so very hard to even be in the running.  You have outfitted yourself with the very best and you have gathered a team of your biggest fans to cheer you on.  But this race is different, for you are the only competitor on the track.  There is no one else.  Yes, this is the most important race of your life.  It is a race against yourself.  The only thing that could keep you from finishing this race is your ego, your demons, your past, your fears or your excuses.  But nonetheless, you are prepared.  You have all the tools necessary to cross the finish line and you are focused on your goal.  You know that is not about winning, but it is about completing what you were sent there to do– finish.  Because in that moment you will look back at the race of your life and understand that it was not what you did or how fast you ran, but rather who you were being on your course that gave you all your dreams.  For running this race was your only purpose in life.  And as you ran you inspired millions of other spectators to do the same on their own life’s track.

Now imagine that you have worked your way up from a light jog to a full sprint and all-of-the sudden their is a small little gnat that begins flying around your face.  It desperately swarms in front of your eyes, it buzzes constantly in your ears, it tickles your nose and lands in the sweat of your brow.  You know this little tiny gnat can do you no harm and doesn’t even necessarily mean to.  It is just being what it is.  A gnat.  It is not a vicious hornet.  It cannot hurt you but it is annoying and more potentially distracting than words can possibly portray.  You swat at it, ever so mindful not to keep your eyes off your finish line.   It flies away.  “Aahhhh, relief!” you think.  But no.  Once again the gnat is back.  “Just go away,” you say.  “What have I ever done to you?  Can’t you see I’m in an important race?  Please go bug someone or something else.”  But the gnat continues on.  Every time you think you are rid of it, it does a fly by.  You feel as if you are going mad!!!!!!  Your fans and spectators don’t understand.  They see you momentarily slow your pace.  They yell to you to stay focused and keep up the good work.  But they don’t see what you see.  They don’t feel what you feel.  For the tiny little gnat may as well be a fire breathing dragon at this point.  It is so persistent that you feel you will bat shit crazy if you don’t soon find relief.

Well my friends, I am in the race, I have a gnat, and it is GNASTY!!!  As big as I am in comparison to this small little bug I feel sometimes as if  it has the ability to zap every bit of power and life out of me from the mere consistency of it’s persistent buzzing.  The gnats in our life are those people that just get under your skin.  You know the people I’m talking about?  The ones that aren’t necessarily doing you any harm but they just won’t buzz off??  The ones that you think you are rid of and then they instanty appear only to cause you some slight annoyance?  The ones that are not necessarily malicious but are just being themselves and WON’T GO AWAY?!?!?!?!?!?!  Who is that person in your life?  Who is your “gnasty”?

About the time I think I must throw in the towel I am reminded of Elizabeth Gilbert‘s story in her book “Eat Pray Love.”  She is sitting in a meditation garden in India and she is being literally eaten for two hours by mosquitos.  She says,

“As soon as I sat down on that bench in the lovely gloaming, I could hear the mosquitoes coming at me, brushing against my face and landing——-in group assault—–on my head, ankles, arms.  And then their fierce little burns.  I didn’t like this.  I thought, ‘This is a bad time to practice Vipassana meditation.‘  On the other hand, when is it a good time of day, or life, to sit in detached stillness?  When isn’t there something buzzing about, trying to distract you and get a rise out of you?  So I made a decision…I presented myself with an experiment—–what if I sat through this for once? Instead of slapping and griping, what if I sat through the discomfort, just for one our of my long life?”

She goes on…

“The itch was maddening at first but eventually it just melded into a general burning feeling and I rode that heat into a mild euphoria.  I allowed the pain to lose its specific association and become pure sensation—neither good nor bad, just intense–and that intensity lifted me out of myself and into meditation.  I sat there for two hours  A bird might very well have landed on my head; I wouldn’t have noticed…Whenever something happens, I always react.  But here I was—–disregarding the reflex.  I was doing something I’d never done before…When it was all over, I stood up, walked to my room and assessed the damage.  I counted about twenty mosquito bites.  But within a half an hour, all the bites had diminished.  It all goes away.  Eventually, everything goes away.”

So my prayer for you and I is that we are able to go within, just like Elizabeth and thousands more who have done the same, and find our strength in that place of complete peace, silence and focus.  That place in true connection with our Source of being.  And I pray that we will understand that all distractions, annoyances, and even stinging bites are only temporary.  That we would not only cross the finish line on our own track in life, but that we will cross with our heads held high running at full speed, knowing that we have changed the world…beginning with our own.

Love your life!

Christy

Power: The rate at which energy is converted; the ability to effect change.

Energy: Usable power.

Scientifically speaking, any energy can be transformed into another form, but the total energy always remains the same.   If energy is usable power, then that must mean there is limitless power available at all times right?  So why do we not always feel this energy or feel this available power?  It has always been my experience that I was unable to access this power due to limiting beliefs and conditioning I had placed on myself.  It’s not so much the big beliefs like “maybe I’m not good enough” or “maybe I’m not smart enough” that tripped me up (although they certainly can.)  In my case, it’s the beliefs that are much more subtle that keep me from living in a state of power.  It’s the ones that whisper, “you’re crazy,”  or “if that really happens, then what will you do?” or “If I go down this path, my husband/friends/parents/kids/family/etc. won’t understand,”.

I have found that the biggest “cap,” if you will, that I have put on myself for years is believing that I wouldn’t know what to do with unlimited power and energy if I had it.  The truth is, I didn’t want to be the one responsible.  Power implies responsibility.  Here’s a little fun fact–we are already tapped into this universal source of power.  But in order to use it to our advantage, we must first step into our responsibility for what we have already created.  This, my friends, is not always fun.  It implies that you can no longer be the victim of society, the government, other people, or circumstance.  Instead, you realize that where you are is where you put yourself.  It’s not an easy pill to swallow and it was so hard for me at first to not blame others (not even a little bit) or try to hold them responsible for my life in any way.

Once this happens, you can begin the phase of self forgiveness and (dare I say) self acceptance.  This in turn, creates a clearing for the life you want to create next.  This is was my biggest hurdle to get over.  But once I took responsibility and forgave myself— guess what??  It began to happen IMMEDIATELY.  I, through a “coincidental” series of events, hooked up with my business partner and we created an amazing company in less than three months.  Then my mind was open to even bigger ideas.  Each idea seems even more delusional than the last, but when I look back, they seem small in comparison to the next creation I am imagining.

The power always comes in instantaneously at the same time as the choice.  It is a choice that says, “Because I say it, it is done.”  There is an old saying that goes, “The universe will step aside for the person who knows where they are going.”  That is exactly what I have experienced.  Rather than allowing my mind to list the reasons why I cannot do something, I simply open myself to the possibility and declare it done.  Then I use my energy to to take action on what it is I desire to create.  Sometimes this comes in the form of meditation (or listening for highest solutions,) sometimes it comes in the form of a phone call, an email, or a face to face conversation.  But all of these ‘energies’ or actions are moving my project forward. While in this energetic and powerful state, I am staying detached from the outcome, knowing that I do not have control over one single thing in life and understanding that all my power and energy must be directed from myself and towards myself.  Meaning… I have no power to change others, but all power to change myself.

Detachment also means being willing to let everything go in order to materialize greatness. There is a quote that says, “One must let go of all they now are to be all they will become.”   At one time or another I have lost every material possession in my life, but I wasn’t attached.  I knew my circumstances were only temporary because I was busy creating everything I imagined.  Being in this state keeps you energetically aligned with the power of the universe.  NEVER let the doubt creep in that it will not work.  It will work.  It doesn’t matter what it is, it will work.  It might no work the first way I try or even the hundredth.  It might not work by the first goal date I set or the tenth.  But it will work. We don’t have to have the power…it is already there.

The bottom line is to remember that energy cannot be created or destroyed, only transformed.  So it is a matter of opening up to the energy and power that is readily available to all and allowing it to be transformed through you.  Anybody can do this.  As a matter of fact, we were created for it.– like a conduit.  So allow yourself to begin to imagine possibilities rather than “facts.”  Then take responsibility for where you are and choose to forgive yourself anyway, and watch as all the right people and circumstances just seem to show up for you.  PARTY ON POWER PEOPLE!

Go from your Potential to your Power!

Funk Off

I must confess, lately I have really been in a “funk”.  As in… funk you, funk me, and funk off.  Now one thing I know about myself is that that I go big or go home… and being down in the dumps is no different.  I don’t just get a little depressed.  It seems like in a moments notice, I may decide that I don’t like anything about myself or my life and I start looking at flights to the nearest Mexican beach and fantasizing about running away from it all.  Now, I’m sure most of you are much closer to perfect and have found a way to balance all the responsibilities in your world, so I’m not talking to you.  I’m talking to those of us who are generally good hearted and good natured people but are just one psycho boss, bad relationship, or whiney kid away from becoming the crazy cat lady.  Yeah, I’m talking to those people.

I wish I had some brilliant solution or “Aha moment” to enlighten you with, but let me tell you the only secret that I’ve found.  Are you ready?  OK, here it is….drumroll please….. IT GOES AWAY!!.  Yep, that’s it.  It’s only temporary.  If we (momentarily insane people) can remember that whatever funk we are feeling will eventually work itself out and if we can manage not to do anything drastic in the meantime, it really does go away!!  So the secret of my success is just to continue to be kind, put a smile on my face, not take things personally, and wait it out.  My friend Rick always uses the expression “chop wood, carry water” — Meaning that if you chop wood and carry water enough, eventually you will see the fruit of your labor.  It may be boring.  It may be monotonous.  It may seem like you are getting no where.  But I promise you, eventually, the life you’re creating will  get built.  So in the meantime, tell your ego to funk off.

Unlock The Love

Yesterday I had the opportunity to sing for our church’s “Good Friday Service.”  The music was beautiful, the people were loving, and the message was powerful.  Using the Christian story of Jesus, the Reverend spoke of an opportunity we have to extend either “peace lilies” or “thorns” to one another.  Then we were guided in a meditation to hold someone in our mind and see the “Christ” in them while sending them love.

There is a particular person that just rubs me the wrong way.  She is the proverbial “thorn in my side”.  Because of this, I decided that she would be the person that I held in my heart and mind and was going to send her some Easter love.  As I took a deep breath in -all I could think about was how annoyed she makes me.  So I took a deep breath out and told myself I was letting go of all the anger and bitterness, but it didn’t seem to work.  Trying to fight the overwhelming feelings, I tried once again to forgive.  Nope.  I got nothin’.  I struggled along while the rest of the congregation appeared to be blissfully cleansing their souls.  And then there was me.  Just thinking about this woman was making my blood boil!

After the service things only got worse and by the time I awoke this morning I was ready to choke somebody!!   Not only that, I was angry at myself for being angry!  This was supposed to be a forgiveness exercise and, leave it to me, I had turned into an internal raging psycho.  “If there ever was a lost cause,” I thought, “it would definitely be me.”  I sleepily stumbled to my morning book of affirmations and felt guilty because none of them seemed to line up with the junk I felt inside.  Finally I just stopped.  I opened up my arms and said, “God I can’t forgive.”  “I hate her.”  “I want her to suffer and I want to watch.”  I didn’t know what else to say.  How could I not be honest with the One who knows all?

At that moment all the stories I heard of Jesus as a child flooded my soul and I heard the question, “Can you think of one time Jesus did not send love to the ‘lost causes’ of this world?”  I searched through my mind.  No, I could only recall stories of Him loving and taking away their shame.  There was the woman at the well, the adulteress who was to be stoned, the crooked tax collector, and so on.  And just like that the light of love began to pour into me.  It was at that moment that I heard the commandment “Love thy neighbor as thyself” and the light bulb came on!  It wasn’t my job to try to love and forgive her until I was fully capable of loving and forgiving myself.  How can you give something you don’t have?  You can’t.  I sat there basking in the love I felt.  I said, “I send love to my bitterness.  I send love to my anger.  I send love to my fear.  I send love to my hatred.  I send love to my resentment.”  I knew that if Jesus Christ, the man, was sitting right there on that couch with me, He would have done just that.  Who knew?!?!  I finally cracked the code of WWJD (what would Jesus do) and I don’t even wear the bracelet!  Haha!

So this Easter, whatever your faith may be, I encourage you to find that same Christ.  The Christ that only knows how to love.  The Christ that does not condemn or judge.  The Christ whose light pierces even the darkest nights of the soul.  And let that Christ begin with you.

Love your life!

Christy

It got worse. After getting the chance to talk to my son, I asked him “Where on earth were you going at 1:00 in the morning???” “To meet my friends” he said. “What could you possibly be doing with your friends that was so important you felt you had to sneak out?” I asked. He looked me right in the eye and said, “I was going to smoke weed.” WHAT?!?!?! I didn’t know what to do first– pack his bags, or slap the sh*t out of him! “When did you start smoking weed??” I asked him in my psycho mom voice. “I haven’t yet,” he replied, “I was going to try it for the first time.” Yeah right, I thought.

He went on to tell me how he was really excited to get to try weed because everyone always told him how great it made you feel. He said that he knew that we had talked about him NOT trying drugs (especially illegal ones) but when he actually had the opportunity, he wanted to experience it. When I asked him if he was scared when the cops picked him up he said, “Not really, I was more disappointed.” Thinking I finally had a breakthrough, I asked him “Disappointed in yourself?” “No.” He said, “Disappointed that I didn’t get to try smoking weed.” OH DEAR GAWD, how much can a mother’s ears take?!?!

To be honest with you, my feelings were hurt. I wrestled with the disappointment I felt about his judgment, his desires, and my parenting. I was left asking the questions that millions of other parents ask themselves on a daily basis. “When did this happen?” “What did I do/not do?” “How can I stop this?” And on and on and on. After beating myself up for quite some time, I took a deep breath did what I know to do in every other situation– stop questioning myself and start listening to myself. The truth is I am not a perfect parent and I do not have perfect kids. Not only that but we live in an imperfect world. In other words, the odds are not stacked in my favor if I wanted to believe this could never happen to me. Rather than burying my head in the sand, I chose to not take it personally and just move forward with what I had to work with. The facts are that I cannot “control” my teenagers. And to be honest with you, I don’t want to (well, sometimes I do), but I know that I could not control them without robbing them of their own life lessons. All I can do is make the consequences for their behavior very simple and very clear (and VERY severe!) That way I can remove any emotional distress that I may feel about the situation and keep the communication lines open.

In the last couple weeks after this “unfortunate incident” I have had many great conversations with my teenage son. He tells me that he still hasn’t made a decision as to whether or not he wants to dabble with smoking weed and that he doesn’t want to lie to himself or me and say he won’t do it. I continue to encourage him to go with his instincts all the while acknowledging the incredible amount of peer pressure he is under. And the more we talk I begin to see that all of my initial emotions were based on fear. Fear that he would be a “pot-head,” fear that he would get into more trouble, fear that this would be the start of a long list of bad decisions, fear that he would try other harder drugs, fear, fear, fear, fear. And guess what? Fear is NOT love. So rather than focus on my fears, I choose to focus on the love that I have for my son. I want him to know that I am on his “team” in life even if I GREATLY disapprove of his choices. I want him to know that he can trust himself to make good decisions and let him learn by natural consequences if he does not.

I don’t know what the end of this chapter of life will look like for my son, but I do know that I will be there, good or bad, wrong or right, to help him navigate through the land-mines of life. Even the ones he creates for himself. I will choose to be a fearless parent instead of a fearful one. Yes, I will fear less and love more. Because at the end of the day, that’s what it’s all about.

Love your life!

Christy

It's 2:00 a.m. Do you know where your kids are?

There are a lot of times I look around at my life and feel overwhelmed with how blessed I am. But there was a time, not so long ago, that my life looked entirely different than it does right now. Many of you know that I was a twice divorced mother of three by the time I was twenty-five years old. I lived in a one-hundred year old farm house in the middle of Nowhere, TX and I relied on welfare and public assistance just to feed my babies. I’m the type of person that always makes lemonade out of lemons, but let me tell you something, when you are broke, broken, and bewildered it is sometimes REALLY difficult to see the silver lining in the never-ending rain cloud!!

Fast forward ten years later and one could definitely say I “got lucky.” I live in a beautiful home in a very nice neighborhood. I still have a crush on my ‘new’ husband after almost eight years. I now have four beautiful children who enrich my life in ways that words cannot express. I have a budding career as professional speaker and singer/songwriter that fills my days will joy. And I live each moment with purpose, on purpose. Which brings me to my point.

I am here to tell you that getting my life from point “A” to point “B” was very simple but often difficult. What is it that separates our dreams of where we want to be from the reality of where we are? In my experience, I can boil it down to one word. Courage. Courage is one of those words that we hear a lot about and often strive to have, but rarely do we truly know what it means. Let’s look at the definition of courage. cour·age
1)The quality of mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty, danger, pain, etc., without fear; bravery.

2)To act in accordance with one’s beliefs, especially in spite of criticism.

Do you not like your current situation? Are you ready to move forward in your life and create the future you desire and deserve? If so, what difficulty will you face to do this? What pain will you choose to heal? What fear will replace with love? These are the questions that take courage to answer. And it is this courage that will lead you to be strongly rooted and grounded in who you are and what you believe.

You will never find your own path from point “A” to point “B” without knowing these things. Having said that, let’s look at the second part of courage. Do you have the guts to live your truth? I mean REALLY live your truth. Even when your friends tell you that you are crazy or question every move you make? What about if your church doesn’t agree or your family doesn’t understand? See, it’s easy to say you will live your truth until you bring up “Mamma” or “God.” These questions are intended not to turn you away from your family, friends, or beliefs— but rather to strengthen you and provoke you to search your heart, mind, and soul and FIND YOURSELF. Why? Because you can never LIVE what you want until you BECOME who you want. The saying, “It takes a lot of courage be this lucky” is not just a nice little quote. It is a truth that I have lived and breathed for the last ten years of my life. And as always, the truth has set me free. I want this freedom for all of you as well. So what are you waiting for? Get lucky!

Love your lIfe!
Christy

Recently I experienced this when I was ignoring a very strong feeling that I had about a certain situation. Because no one had asked my opinion and it really didn’t concern me, I just dismissed my feelings as if they weren’t there. Doing this literally took a physical toll on me. I became irritable and short tempered. I even began experiencing aches and pains for no apparent reason. I didn’t want to be honest with myself about how I felt. I wanted to feel differently and so I just pretended that I was fine with the situation. Have you ever done that? I believe that we all know the truth innately and when we do not acknowledge it, it will continue to show up (sometimes through physical aches and pains) until we start paying attention. What are you not being honest with yourself about today? Is there something that you “know” to be true but you continue to lie to yourself because you don’t want to face it?

Take my word for it, it is much easier to look at the truth than to live a lie. So I challenge you to move beyond KNOWING the truth and step into LIVING the truth, because the truth WILL set you free!

Love Your Life!

Christy

Get Honest With Yourself

I’m sure you have seen the human doings type before. These are the people that actually take classes to tell them how to fake you into believing they are genuinely interested in you and your company when all they really care about is getting your business or access to your clients. I can smell them a mile away. I used to be very annoyed when I first began to realize that these type of people actually exist, but now I am almost somewhat amused. It’s kind of fun to go to a networking event and watch them run around checking name tags for important titles and evaluating if you shook their hand the right or wrong way. Haha! Good times. Anyway, my business partner and I have had amazing success in the last six months that I can attribute to many things (like the fact that we are obviously geniuses but the one thing that stands out the most is that we have always just been ourselves.

Which brings me to the human beings. You see, I have also noticed that there are those people who genuinely love what they do in life and want to share their gifts with others. They are generally not too concerned whether you scrub the toilets at your company or if you sign the checks (in my case, I’m both of those people.) But they talk to you like you are a real human being. They are interested in who you are, not just what you do. I love this group of people! And the good news is that there are a lot of them out there! So here’s to all of you past, present, and future friends who don’t judge my ability to run a company by the fact that I may or may not look so “put together” and on any given day I may smell like baby throw up — or worse. And as for all you others…. how about you focus a little more on being yourself instead of selling yourself. You never know, you might just make a new client AND a new friend.

Love your life!
Christy

Be yourself, don't sell yourself

Now I don’t know exactly why I woke up ‘on the wrong side of the bed,’ and I guess it really doesn’t matter…but I do have some ideas. I know that I am mad at myself for a couple of things like not being ‘productive’ over the weekend and not using the time I had to do some things I really wanted to get done. Instead I just sat around all day fighting myself internally. WHY DO I DO THAT?!?!? It is such a useless fight. I am learning to live in the moment and just embrace what it is I am choosing to do without judgment, but whew! Old habits die hard! Anyway, I know that is some of the reason why I felt annoyed from the second I opened my eyes, because I immediately thought of all the things I didn’t do that I still want done and now I have other things to do as well. Ggrrr!

So here I am. 6:30 in the morning, and I have a choice to make. What kind of day am I going to have? I have to tell you, there is still a part of me that wants to whine about how hard my life is right now and list all the things I have to do and why it’s not fair that I have to do them, but I won’t make you listen to all of that. Instead, I will choose to shift my focus onto all the things I am grateful for and dive into my day with my arms wide open— ready to receive all the sweetness that life has to offer—whether I feel like it or not. You see, it’s not about how I feel, it’s about how I think. And I can make a choice to think differently. I always tell my kids, “If you don’t like the way you are feeling, change the way you are thinking,” so I guess I’ll practice what I preach.

And there you have it folks… the answer to all life’s problems is simply making the choice to shift your focus. Because it’s not what happens to you, but what happens in you that counts. And as Dr. Wayne Dyer says, “You are only a thought away from changing your life.” So I guess I’ll change mine.

Love your life!
Christy

Dear Vodka, It's Me, Christy